Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
