is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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