If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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