hotel room ftw
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My boob is missing a layer of skin
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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