the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
