she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize