no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
