I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
