Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
