im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You were trust falling into bushes
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
