She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
