How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
