Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Randomize
