I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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