If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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