whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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