How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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