I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
