Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
