Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
