So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
