who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
