The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
