i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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