i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
