my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
