so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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