i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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