he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize