When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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