i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize