Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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