Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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