Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize