UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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