Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
