you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
