So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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