so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
