I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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