Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
