just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
