I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
