ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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