i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
