Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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