Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
