If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize