So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
