Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
