After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
