he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
