I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
