You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
