I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
