no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
